I am a graduating student in the midst of discovering what I really want to do with my life, while my childhood shy type schoolmate turned out to be the perfect man for me takes on all the challenges of being in..... the United States Army. With just being a girlfriend, we are struggling with long separations and adjusting to life apart from one another.
Heartbreak after heartbreak.. I don't know what's wrong but I always ended up with the wrong guy .. I might say ☺☺
The last break up actually happens ..... Not so long ago... Where I have been betrayed and I almost felt that maybe, relationships like this were really not for me ... So I decided to take a break.. I just unwind.. Go with the flow.. Day by day it seems like a new day for me after that break-up it's so hard to move on... Specially with the first man that I introduced to my family... But as my mom says "there are no mistakes, only lessons learned" my friends and family supported me every single dat of struggle, and I thank them so much for never letting me feel alone..
Days,weeks, months passed... And I can say that I'm a better person, I have discovered so many things about myself that I almost forgot because of the relationship.. Anyway.. This is when .. My prince charming came .. Or I would prefer to say... my soldier came and heal my broken heart again...............
Never in a million years did I think I'd find someone so utterly and completely perfect for me, someone who would make me happier than I ever dreamed I could be,someone who would accept me and embrace my imperfections, someone that would touch my life so much and just give me a whole new reason to breathe and experienced that thing they called "true love". But then I found mikko..or I should say the love found us and realized that everything I anticipated to be my man doesn't even compare to who he is.
You? Me? Our friends? Even my best best bestfriend never imagined this would happen .. I remember my girls first reaction when I told them that I'm completely in love with you
" Are you sure hon"
"is this for real?"
"Are you joking"
"isn't that hard?,
"how will it work?"
Never ending questions .. But for the first time in my life.. No hesitations I answered
"YES IM SERIOUS, I
DONT KNOW HOW THIS RELATIONSHIP WILL WORK,BUT IT WILL!! I LOVE MIKKO".
It all started with just one comment! Mik posted on my fb wall
Mik:happy birthday mary jane!
Me: Are you nuts? Its not yet my birthday
Mik: ayy! Sorry
Days passed he posted something about his feelings of being separated to his family coz of his duties as an army.. And as an old friend I just replied
"Poor mikko!, come back to the philippines and we will hug you".
Then tinnggg!! He pm me! Asking what's up and if I'm not that busy if we can go on skype.. And since I'm actually bored that time.. Yeee we talked via skype like 5hrs I think.. Remembering our childhood days where he was so fucking silent and I was so damn noisy! Haha I gave him updates of our batchmates ., then after that .. Everyday msgs .. Nothing serious just like the old times ..
I was not that interested to him actually.. .. And I don't have any plans of investing any feeling on him..
Though I have moved on from my previous relationship I still have that little owsy ow feeling that men are just jerks who cannot be trusted!
I'm dating other guys that time.. I can say I have many suitors that time .. But I just know inside me that I am not ready, I cannot afford any heartbreak again!
Then bang!! Everything between me and mikko just cHANGED,, we don't know how that thing happened.. He calls me princess,sweet and that gave me butterflies... Then one creepy morning! He says
Mikko"Iloveyoumary jane seriously",
And I'm like! "Oookaaay, u drunk"
Mikko: I'm not I'm dead serious about this mary jane
Me: so what now!
Mikko: I don't know, would u be my princess?
Me: okay your highness
Mikko: shh,, I'm not joking!!!!!
Me: okay!
Mikko: what do you mean okay? Okay I'm not joking, or okay you will be my girl and my princess?
Me: what do you prefer?
Mikko: I told you! I'm not playing games!
Me: then who is! I'm not!!
Mikko: would you be my girl mary jane?
Me: what girl?
Mikko: my girlfriend!! My princess!
Me: seriously??? Right this very moment???
Mikko: listen!!! I told you I'm serious!!
Me: calm down soldier!!!!!!! Hmmm.. Okay!!!
Mikko: what okay?
Me: okay I would be your girl!
Then he flashes that hot smile!!!! And I'm like my god! Is he really the one!!!?? I look up!! And what the hell??? Rain pours!! Crap!! My phone!!
Days,weeks,months passed! And I know!! He is really the one!! He can't sleep when I am mad. Makes me special in his own way.. He always makes me laugh at those little things..
I love it when he make plans for our future ..
But at one point.. With all the stress all the missing him.. Worries of his duties as an army .. The future deployments.. I asked myself "do I have the courage to live with this"
Then ........ 3 knocks at my door! Its my mom with my niece quincy. Mom asked me "get dressed, we will go to the church"
While walking.. I asked my mom if what is the celebration.. There is no one celebrating their birthday in our family, it is not friday, nor sunday its thursday.. And she says we have to buy mass card for my lolo who just passed away .. Upon sitting down the hall I saw this painting in the wall of sta. Cruz church
"Don't hesitate, believe in him.. He knows everything"
And I'm like.. Wtf?? I remember the thought I have in my silly head before my mom knocked on my door! And then I asked myself! "Is this a coincidence?".
Next day .. Friday! Its quiapo day so as expected.. Many devotees pay their respect,. As we look for a place my mom decided to be near that giant t.v where .. Guess what?? We are sorrounded by couples! And I'm like "now that's interesting" father frank gives his homily and ending it with.................
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. -Psalm 147:3
After the mass .. We have dinner at greenwich my mom ordered my favorites but I was doomed with all these things happening that I can't eat. She asked me..
Mom: what's wrong?
Me: I don't know if I'm ready ma, I'm scared
Mom: you're scared of what?
Me: getting hurt again
Mom: there's nothing you can do, trust you're feelings you're still young,explore there's a lot to learn.
Me: he's so far away ma
Mom: if you love him, distance is nothing
I stood up and headed to the restroom to pee...Then I just stop.. Take a deep breat then wash my hands..preparing to go back to oyr table then, I looked at my face in the mirror and just voluntarily...... water began to fall from my eyes .. ( It is actually like those scenes in the movies) then one crew approached me. The guy says..
Crew: don't cry ma'am.. He loves you. (Wag ka magaalala mam, mahal kayo nun) common joke yan ng mga pilipino pag may nakikita silang nageemote. .. Pero right timing ..
I go back to our table..eat..... And just like that all my worries vanished!!!!! BOOM!!!
In the end, if ill be with him.. Ill take the chance :))
I know pain is a part of every relationship .. But I can and I will do it because I know he is worth it.
I can't forget about my heart and how it felt to fall for him right from the start..... ♥♥♥♥♥♥
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